Spring Is In The Air

I’m so excited for spring! It’s my favorite season.  I love springtime and these are some of the reasons why:

Oodles of sunshine. sunshine

Flowers poking their heads through the dirt.

Trees budding. tree-bud Green grass. Fresh breezes. Longer days. Easter.

Baby ducks. baby ducks

Blue skies. The air smells sweet. Going barefoot. barefoot

Dresses. Bright colors. Baby bunnies. cutest-bunny-rabbits-33

Nature re-awakening. Playing in the parks. Early sunrises.

Tulips and daffodils.tulipe and daffodils

Spring cleaning. Chirping birds. Rhubarb. Mushroom hunting.

Spring peas.spring peas

Mild temperatures. Love. Planting a garden. Colored Easter eggs. Easter eggs

Chilly mornings and warm afternoons. Spring rains. Puddle jumping. step-in-a-puddle-and-splash-your-friends-day Rain Boots. Bicycle rides.Wheelbarrows.

Bees. bees

Farmer’s markets. Picnics. Baseball games. Ladybugs. May Day. Happy-May-Day-Flower-BasketFlying kites. Blowing bubbles. Wind chimes. Tea Parties.

Baby lambs. babay lamb

Chasing butterflies. Hopscotch. Pedicures. Lilacs. Pussy willows. Open windows.

welcome spring I’M SO GLAD YOU’RE HERE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

JUST BE YOU

Every romantic relationship, at some point, demands some negotiations, compromise, and sacrifice.  It’s a slippery slope to not lose yourself by compromising too much. Losing yourself in a relationship is common and happens all too often. You wake up one day and say to yourself, I don’t know who I am anymore. You have negotiated away your personality, your beliefs, your dreams, your friends, and you have no idea who your real self is. All in the name of love.

Good news! It doesn’t have to be that way. You can be in a relationship AND be true to yourself. You can commit to another AND remain committed to yourself!

Usually, what we want from a relationship is to be loved, acknowledged, appreciated and supported by our partner, for who we are. All relationships start out just that way. In order for it to continue to grow, we need to continue to BE WHO WE ARE.

When you know who you are, and love yourself for who you are, you are happier and more capable of intimacy, love, and passion in your relationship. After doing lots of research, reading countless articles, and talking to numerous people, I have come up with some helpful suggestions on how to maintain your identity.

  1. Solo time – Do your own thing. Have a hobby. Outside interests keep you unique and should be encouraged by both partners for both partners.
  2. Maintain financial independence – You feel more secure when you have your own money and don’t need to rely on your partner financially. It also removes a weighty burden from them.
  3. Stay connected with your friends and family –  You need your tribe. They will be the voice of reason and will continue to tell you when your pants make you look fat. Don’t push these peeps to the wayside.
  4. Set up those boundaries – How much space do you need?  How often will you communicate?  How will you resolve arguments? What about sex?
  5. Keep your logic thinking cap handy – Sometimes you need to step back and look at the relationship logically. You must listen to your heart and your head. Not so romantic, but really important!
  6. ALWAYS BE YOU – You are perfectly imperfect. Do things in your own quirky, silly way. Like what you like, dislike what you dislike. Dream what you dare to dream. You are unique, and beautiful, and strong. Remind yourself of that every day!

REMEMBER THE PERSON WHO truly and genuinely loves you, will never want to change you or want you to be anyone else, but who you are.

just-be-you-watercolor

 

WHAT??????

I have a friend, let’s call her Stella, who recently started online dating; Stella also recently stopped online dating. We had no idea it could be so entertaining. Hmmmmmm, which site to use? There are so many, and while they are basically the same, there are some glaring differences. Her advice on this is, do your homework before signing up.

Stella decided not to use the site called “wannagetlaid.com”,  LOL!!!!! She settled on the ever-popular “Bucket O Fish” (names have been changed to protect the innocent).  After filling out her profile, she started browsing the single males. Users have the option of using their own name or using a “clever” undercover name.  The beginning line-up was, Kevin62, Hot4You, YouAreALuckyWoman2, LetsFindAWay, FreshOutOfTheOven, and IAmOneInAMillion. Seriously? Clearly, these guys used a website that helps men come up with “a username that works!” One site states women love talking about food…make her hungry for more. The same site also suggests the best usernames begin with letters A-M, because they show a fun-loving personality and…….wait for it…..they hint at intelligence or culture.  WHAT?????

The first message Stella received was from LovesToWorkOut, 62-year-old male from Santa Ana, California. California? Really? Are ya lookin’ for a pen pal? Talk about long-distance relationships. Pass.

Message #2 was from good ole Norm. “Hi there pretty lady!” Norm’s profile was something like this: I’m very controlling. I’ll give you what you need.                              Sorry Norm, not interested.

So, Aaron, aka FLYBOY, sent a nice message, and after some online chatting, Stella decided to meet him for a drink. Aaron is a retired airplane mechanic, divorced, very into himself. He showed her lots and lots and lots and lots of pictures of himself and airplane wings and himself and airplane engines and himself and airplane wheels and airplane engines and airplane propellers and himself standing next to airplane engines. As interesting as the pictures were, she desperately steered the conversation in a different direction.  He told her all about his many escapades with online dating. He told her about the lady who sent him various pictures of herself in various states of undress and how beautiful she was, how sweet, how nice. AND how she lied to him. It seems she had a birth defect; her right arm stopped at the elbow and it wasn’t obvious in the pictures. He said “HOW DARE SHE LIE TO ME LIKE THAT! By the way, I haven’t been completely honest with you, Stella. I’m not retired, I was fired from my job after coming to work drunk.  OK, so maybe I do have a drinking problem, I’ve been going to AA.”

“Uuummmmm Aaron, you’re an alcoholic and we are sitting in a bar drinking?” (and that’s only a little bit of what is wrong with this whole conversation). Bye-bye FLYBOY WHAT?????????????

And then there was Woody, yep, that’s right, Woody. Woody is Alabama born and raised. He is retired and 61 years old (he is really 71). They met at a popular breakfast restaurant for coffee. His first words to her were ” You are so cute”, as he squeezed her face and gave her a big kiss, right on the lips. WHOA, Woody, slow down there boy!

They agreed to meet for dinner later that evening. When they were seated, after the hour-long wait,  during which Woody talked to EVERYONE in the waiting area, he immediately asked the waiter to show him how to watch a football game on his phone. Alabama was playing!!!!!!!! YAY!!! Not much conversation but she did enjoy her dinner.

Stella knew it was time to say goodbye when Woody said: ” You are just so sweet, I want to take you to Alabama to meet Mama!” He also said something about her going home with him to meet “Shorty”, who had been ‘excited all to meet you all day’. WHAT?????????

So goes Stella’s attempt at online dating. She canceled her membership and is currently in the process of rekindling an old friendship. Good luck Stella. My heart is rooting for true love. love

Happy New Year

Did you make any New Year Resolutions? If so, do you keep them to yourself or tell others so they can help keep you accountable? I do a little of both.

I did some research and came up with this list of common resolutions:

  1. eat healthier
  2. exercise more
  3. get a new job
  4. lose weight
  5. quit smoking
  6. take better care of myself
  7. learn something new
  8. travel more
  9. spend more time with family/friends
  10. stop procrastinating

My list:

  1. stop overthinking
  2. be kind, always (to others and to myself)
  3.  do something fun every day
  4.  look for adventures
  5. laugh more
  6. love more
  7. embrace my weirdness
  8. quit worrying about what other people think of me
  9. blog more : )

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

quotes-the-magic

 

Get Up and Get Going

 

I have such a difficult time waking up during the winter. It’s cold and dark and I don’t want to get out of my warm, comfy bed. I’ve been trying some new ways of helping myself, help myself get up and get going. Here’s what I’ve come up with.

  1. I put my alarm clock on the other side of the room so I have to get out of bed to turn it off. This doesn’t always work. I have been known to hit the snooze and crawl right back into bed. UGH
  2. I turn a light on as soon as the alarm goes off. I’ve noticed that turning the light on before I get out of bed to turn off the alarm helps keep me from hitting the snooze and crawling back into bed. The bed is still warm and comfy, but who can go back to sleep with that annoying light shining in their face?
  3. I drink a glass of water. I read that drinking water right when you wake up helps get your metabolism going, re-hydrates you, (I especially need this after getting up multiple times to pee during the night), and increases your alertness.
  4. I take a deep breath. It’s a moment to pause, relax and choose to make today a good and happy day.
  5. I try to give myself something to look forward to when I get up. A few minutes to have a cup of tea (Irani Tea is a great choice), maybe look out my living room window before the world gets crazy or read a chapter of my current book.

So there you have it.

What things do you do to help get yourself up on these cold winter mornings?

might lose their trust

 

7 Day Mind Detox, a Challenge

Lexie, Sydney (my daughters) and I are doing a 7 Day Mind Detox. No complaining or negativity is to escape your lips for 7 days. If you mess up, you have to start again. All three of us had to start over within the first hour.  So here we are, days later, and we are struggling to make it longer than 24 hours.

For this exercise, I am using the following definitions, from dictionary.com :

  1.  Complaint –   an expression of discontent, regret, pain, censure, resentment, or faultfinding
  2. Negativity –lacking in constructiveness, helpfulness, optimism, cooperativeness, or the like

 

Refusing to accept a situation and take responsibility for changing it, we lay the blame on others. After a while, it becomes a habit and that habit can become our life.

The average person complains approximately 30 times a day. When we complain, the feelings we get are passed on to anyone who is around and suddenly it becomes a race to see who can out-complain the others. It just so normal to bitch and moan. We seemingly like to sit around and one-up each other with how bad things are. Sometimes our complaining is a way to feel some comradery. “The weather is really awful today.” “I can’t believe how long the lines were at the supermarket.” It can also be an icebreaker for awkward moments.

What’s wrong with complaining? We listen to others complain and others listen to us complain. All this complaining is quite discouraging and unhealthy. It starts, keeps and reinforces our feelings of “I’m not good enough”, “what is my purpose”, and holds us prisoner as a victim. Healthwise, it raises our stress levels which raises our blood pressure. It can weaken our immune system, cause gastrointestinal problems, heart problems, headaches, and various other issues.

I challenge you to try this 7 day mind detox with us. I mean really try it. The goal of this exercise isn’t to see who can get to 7 days the quickest. It is to help us be more aware of our own negativity, the negativity of those around us and how all this negatively impacts our lives.

Leave a comment and let me know if you are going to try it. Later we can compare notes on how we’re doing, how we feel about it and share some ideas. Stay tuned.