Parenting is hard. Co-parenting is even harder. Living in separate households increases the amount of consideration and effort needed to put forth. We need to be responsible and always act in the best interest of our children regardless of how we feel about our ex partner. Quality time with your child is so important. Here are a few suggestions to make co-parenting a little easier.
- Positive talk only. Do not talk badly about your ex, even if you think your child is too little to understand. Don’t allow your child to talk disrespectfully about the other parent.
- Be a united front. Children are always testing their boundaries. Make sure you are in control, together.
- Letting your child “get away” with things just to annoy your ex is a no-no. Get a punching bag or a voodoo doll. No voodooing in front of the children.
- Strive for consistency, routine and structure at both households. Similar sets of rules are less confusing for your child.
- Don’t fall into the overindulgence, because of guilt, trap. That only helps you raise a spoiled, entitled child.
- When you child comes home with a “mommy said this” or daddy did that” story, don’t jump to conclusions. Unless it presents a danger to your child, take it with a grain of salt, take a deep breath, and keep your mouth shut.
- Communicate. Try to set aside your differences and focus on the well-being of your child. If something is bothering you about your ex’s behavior, say something. Just make an honest, non-accusatory statement. No finger-pointing, please.
- Don’t try to be the cool fun parent. Your ex will be resentful. Remember you are in this together.
- Shelter your child from adult problems and responsibilities.
- Whatever you do, always do it in the best interest of your children. One day, they will thank you for it.