I asked 100 people what their top 3 everyday stressors are.  The big ones…

1. Time
2. Family
3. Work
4. Appearance
5. Health
6. Taking care of the home
7. Living up to the expectations of others

Seriously, it’s not like we can “get rid of” the stress of anything on this list, but maybe we can learn to let go and be less stressed. Can we let go of what we have been expecting our lives to be and make the best of what really is?  Here are some strategies to try.

• Pay less attention to people’s judgments and don’t take things personally. No one has the right to judge you. When people judge it’s mostly about their own insecurities. They may think they know you but they aren’t living your life. They don’t know how you feel, or what you think or what you may be going through.  Forget about their judgments. LET IT GO. Focus on you.
• When you’re angry, shut up and breathe. Take a step back and just breathe. Deep, deep breaths, give yourself a moment (or two) to think. Why are you angry? Someone not behaving the way you want? Things aren’t going exactly as you planned? Try changing how you deal with the actions of others and focus on things you can change. (You…you can change you)
• Laugh. It’s much harder to be stressed when you are laughing. Try to find some humor in a stressful situation. It’s a mood booster and a stress reliever, and it just makes you feel better!!
• Forgive freely and sincerely. We all make mistakes. We all do dumb things, some that come with heavy consequences. Our mistakes don’t mean that we are horrible, not to be trusted, unforgivable people. Remember this and always keep it with you. Forgive with every little piece of your heart, let go of the stress and be grateful for the experience.
• Learn to say no. Be picky about what you agree to take on. Don’t allow yourself to give in to other’s expectations. If it’s going to stress you out…just say no.
• Canoodle. Yep, hugging, cuddling, kissing and sex are all proven stress relievers. I read something about releasing oxytocin and lowering cortisol, but who cares? Canoodle away your stress.

Life is a lesson. We have to work hard and accept that holding on to what we think is supposed to happen and how we think our life should be unfolding is what really stresses us out. Embrace this wild ride called life. Dare to show up every day, and to be yourself, your best self, with no expectations.

Gestalt Prayer

“I do my thing and you do your thing.
I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations
and you are not in this world to live up to mine.
You are you, and I am I,
and if by chance we find each other, it’s beautiful
if not, it can’t be helped.”

-Fritz Perls-

Stress is not what happens to us. It’s our response to what happens and response is something we can choose.  -Maureen Killoran-